Growing up in America as a Black person is very interesting to say the least. I have always know that I was different. I mean, my parents never said "boy you different and people are going to treat you differently." My first experience with racism was at a very early age, I grew up in the 80's a product of the Regan era. I say product because it seemed like the poor and particularly the black poor were marginalized, we were the answer to the question "What's wrong with America?" I grew up in a segregated community. Not legally segregated but psychologically segregated. I the suburbs of Chicago where I was raised there were very few white people. To go back today you would fine even fewer whites. No whites wanted to live in my neighborhood for whatever reason, so my primary interactions with white people, they were in positions of authority, the mayor, teachers, police officers, firemen etc. I remember when Regan was running for office and how he said the the reason for the failing American economy was the "welfare queens" having children out of control and living off of the public. Now, my mother was for most of you childhood on welfare. As a very young person watching my mother become villianized caused great internal conflict. I never knew shame before this.
I think that its very difficult to be Black in America. It's kind of like not being able to read, you are living outside of the mainstream world and you can't actively participate. In America, you are still expected to live up to the same standards of everyone else. I have a really good friend who said that I'm "different" from other Black people that she has met. I'm not sure what her meaning was behind that statement but my guess was that having grown up in a predominantly white world and learning about Black people from the news media what was available at the time she grew up in text books can I blame her?
I have to go now but I intend to revisit this at a later date.
The N-word.
